Fear of giving

Exploring signs of life could be a real fascinating activity as far as those signs bring more and more meaning and value to what we would like to learn to take us further on the path of knowledge. Their dual nature, however, comes to teach us as well that what we see might not be at all what we would like to see, and that’s just their euphemistic way to soften the harshness of a given life experience. It’s always a mystery what could be hidden behind a certain message and reading it correctly is what will take us forward, instead of reading it the way that we like.

Having been poured recently with a huge number of “step out of your comfort zone” invitations, coming from all sorts of sources and directions, made me contemplate a bit on how comfortable actually the comfort zone is. Do we really feel comfortable there or we simply prefer to keep alive the illusion that we are safe at that very moment? Feeling comfortable is a condition of being well emotionally balanced and enjoying the abundance of all resources to have made us feel like that. This means we have quite a lot right at that moment.

On the contrary, the message says, what we are going to get will happen out of that zone and to make it even more lucrative it’s even called - magic. Staying in the comfort zone has never been meant for getting or aimlessly draining the resources which give the sense of security in our lives. That’s the right time for giving or learning how to give more. Thus, enjoying the comfort of the comfort zone, we are supposed to take all necessary actions to tackle our fears and above all the fear of giving, as only then we are safe enough to afford it.

To step out of our comfort zone is actually an invitation to start giving – to give something to ourselves or to the others and the spectrum is always wide enough to choose what. It’s not like getting rid of what we don’t need anymore or it’s not a big deal to do. Giving and overcoming the fear of giving is an action which will directly affect some or all of the resources which keep our emotional balance. That’s a challenge, but a challenge with a promise for a miracle. As for the miracle – that’s simply the increase of what we have already had as a resource.

Feeling uncomfortable, however, is not a sign that we have consciously stepped out of our comfort zone. It’s merely a sign that we have already run out of some or all of those resources which have kept our emotional balance. Thus, finding ourselves into the discomfort zone will bring no miracles and what’s more, we will be put in the position of giving twice more to restore the lost resources and get back to that uncomfortable comfort zone. That’s a consequence of not taking actions while peacefully occupying that same zone, but still a good learning activity as well.    

A memory of the hidden self

It’s really great to know that while moving through time and space, we have the ability to keep our memories of what it has once been. We definitely don’t remember everything as it is more important to live in the here and now instead of dwelling on the past events of our life. There certainly are as well, some past events, which are much better to be forgotten and not carrying their burden forward. Whatever memories we have brought to the present, they come to show us where we have been and how much we have changed.

Our memories have the incredible abilities to pop up out of the blue whenever and wherever we least expect them. They can be provoked by meeting accidentally an old acquaintance in the street, visiting a cherished place we haven’t been for years, encountering a picture and even a good old song. That’s the moment when we “secretly” turn back to the past to recollect how it has all been. These moments will usually make us smile or shed a tear, but most importantly, they will help us realise how different it is all now.

There’s yet another type of memories which also have the knack to unexpectedly overwhelm us, looking as if they have come out of the nowhere. Their appearance resembles haunting of ghosts and no matter how hard we may try to lock them into the deepest drawer of our minds and force ourselves to forget, they keep on coming over and over again. Those memories are usually connected with some pretty painful events, and living with the idea that time can heal everything looks like the least suitable solution to overcome the issue.

Taking that aching piece of our souls and trying to bury it in the past, hoping that we will never hear its voice again is just an illusion. We can’t hide it from the world and even from ourselves, as our soul has been meant to be complete. It will follow us through time and space as an unfinished business in search of a certain solution. The memory of that hidden self will be constantly projected on different people and places till we find the strength within ourselves to go back there again and personally heal it. 

It may take some time to get ready meeting our hidden self and accepting it as a part of ourselves again. There’s no need to fear the meeting as the pain will be just a memory from the past. The time will have done its best service to make us grow and change, to be strong enough to handle it. Looking back to the past will be a mere observation of what it has already been, and no matter how we have felt there and then, it is all different now. Within that moment we may need to forgive or ask for forgiveness, to close that page and freely move on. 

Seven hearts of the rainbow

From the Eastern philosophy of ethereal energies to the Western psychology of human needs lays the curve of the rainbow with its seven shiny colours. Being a symbol of our hearts’ desires and hope, it leads us from the darkness of the unknown to the bright awareness. Each colour is a path which always starts with a fear to eventually end up with enlightenment.  

Though the ethereal energies might look quite obscure for some, identifying personal needs (making a difference from what I want and what I actually need) could be a much greater challenge for others. And here comes the rainbow to offer us its seven hearts – a heart that we get per each of its seven paths. Each heart is given to guide us through a given spectrum of feelings and emotions and to help us identify our exact needs in life.

Whenever you find yourself struggling with a certain problem, just stop for a while and ask yourself how you feel about this issue. Your feelings and emotions will lead you to the correct path of the rainbow. One or more of the seven colourful hearts will give you a clear signal of a definite fear. That’s great! You are at the beginning of a journey through the rainbow which will end up with the finding of a pot, filled with gold; or said in other words - t'was Grace that taught your heart to fear will finally have your fears relieved.

A life filled with rage, anger and annoyance is definitely not what you would like to have for yourself. It’s just your red heart, giving you a sign that you should take a better care of your physical needs. Being constantly bored and exhausted is an indication of your orange heart that your emotional balance and safety needs are neglected. The lack of confidence and joyfulness is directly related to your yellow heart, and to get better, it simply needs a little bit support from your loved ones. If these three hearts are shining brightly, you will have a clear idea of who you are, how you feel about yourself and what you want.

The green heart is your love navigator. Its aim is to make us overcome the bitter feelings of being lonely, rejected and even jealous. Holding the position of the strictest master in our lives, it will offer us a number of forgiveness lessons as well. And that’s OK since it is also a part of the deal - to enhance our self-esteem and satisfy the needs of being respected by others.

Getting higher and higher on the rainbow path, our cognitive and aesthetic needs will make us look for the other three hearts which will let us experience those feelings and emotions of being free and in harmony with ourselves. The blue heart will make you feel liberated to express yourself, both verbally and non-verbally, in that graceful way it should be done. The indigo heart will inspire you to wisely present your insights and creative ideas to the world to make you feel fulfilled and optimistic. And at the end, the violet heart will be given to you as a key for the enlightenment doors.

Hans’ shoes

I was wondering whether to start this story with “Once upon a time” when the story has nothing to do with time and space. It’s always about here and now. It’s about us and our fears and how easily we can project them no matter where, when and how. The story about Hans and his old, worn-out shoes is a metaphor of how we live our fears in life, and how these fears hold us back to achieve anything that we want to make us happy, self-confident and content.

And so, Hans was a poor man, living among other poor people in a small village, hidden from the whole world. Nobody was interested in that place and the people who were living there. From time to time they were getting some help in the form of old, ragged clothes and shoes. At least they had something to cover their bodies. That’s how Hans grew up, being taught to be grateful for what he had, for he may lose everything and be perished by the severe weather conditions.

Hans was wearing his old shoes, which were nearly three sizes smaller than his feet. Each morning it was an enormous struggle to put them on, knowing that the day would be a nightmare. The tortures to take the shoes off were even harder in the evenings. His feet were covered with blisters and wounds, and it was almost impossible to step on them. Evening after evening he was watching how his feet were losing their natural shape and the ability to walk as well.

It was one of those hard evenings, when watching his crippled feet, he burst into tears. He was crying and asking for any help to come his way. And just to make this story real, a little angel came to him. The angel healed and turned his feet back into their natural form so that he could stay and walk on them again. But that was not everything that Hans got! The angel gave him as well a brand new pair of soft leather shoes, which were perfectly matching the size of his feet.

Hans was the happiest man in the world as he was not just walking, but almost flying in his new shoes. Unfortunately, his happiness did not last long, as somebody stole his lovely shoes. It’s useless to ask why or whether that one could put them on. They were just lovely and that one wanted them badly. And there was Hans once again sitting and asking for some help, and waiting for the little angel to come back with another pair of lovely shoes.

No matter how long he cried and prayed, the angel did not come back. Hans should go on with his life and make a choice – to put on his worn-out shoes again or to go barefoot. He quickly recalled the pain and the severe damages which the old shoes left on his feet, and the hardships as well. He looked at his feet, looking healthy and strong, and took the brave decision in his life to go barefoot, no matter how scary it looked in the eyes of the others.

Hans learned how and where to step, what could hurt or feel nice, but above all, he learned how to protect his feet. He realised his needs and what to do to comfort them. And then he learned how to make his own shoes. He was no longer afraid that somebody could steal them as he was quite experienced to make another pair of shoes for himself in no time. He was no longer afraid to go barefoot again, as that was the most natural thing life could offer him.